It's been a rough night

A close friend called me last night. He's got M.E/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome too and has been struggling physically and emotionally.

We're great friends, so I was amazed to hear that I'd 'caused' much of his angst. My 'high flying' attitude, goodnews and magical manifestations were causing him to feel undermined, at times powerless, resentful and out of balance.

It hurt me deeply when he said that I seemed power hungry and threatening...God, I never imagined I was like that!

I've had similar confrontations in the past and my response has been something along the lines of, "oh i'm sorry, i'll try to tame it." Feeling guilt and sadness, I'd emotionally close myself down and do my best to mask my talent and light.

This time it's different.

I can't do that anymore. I'm awake and there's a burning desire inside me to share my gifts with the world.

As Asara Lovejoy( http://www.commandingwealth.com/ ) would probably say, I affirm:

'I don't know how I move beyond my limitations, guilt and fear, I only know that I do now and I am fulfilled'

While praying for guidence and angelic support, I begin to unravel my old programs and beliefs.
I face my lifetimes of abuse, suffering and sorrow and continue to affirm 'The One Command'. I do my best to remain in a state of non-attachment and avoid getting caught-up in my story. Feeling imense sadness I affirm:

'I don't know how I am ok in all situations now, I only know that I am now and I am fulfilled'
Time passes and I continue to release layer upon layer...My body shakes as I release trapped energy and limiting thought patterns....

Thank God! The heavy boulder that seemed lodged in my solar plexus has begun to disolve. I notice outside the sun is shinning and birds are singing.

Now, from my place of serenity I can love my friend unconditionally. I know how hard it is to have M.E/CFS. To have a heart and mind full of passion, inspiration, ideas and dreams while living in a body that struggles to cope with even the simplest tasks.

I send my friend love.
I realise now that he's in a dark place and needs unconditional love. I have been there many times...Standing on a ledge in a state of fear, questioning: "what will i do with my life? how will i cope? Someone please give me answers. I can't take this anymore. God what's happening to me?"

I cried a lot last night. My dreams were often nightmares and as I slept, my body and mind released painful emotions. It's ok though, i'm healing.

My friend is a mirror and a sacred teacher here to give me the opportunity to grow and become more loving.

"I don't know how I am love beyond all our stories, I only know that I am now and I am fulfilled"